So much in common

We have so much in common! Yes, I swear!
You wear clothes — and that’s exactly what I wear!
You’re speaking English, that’s my language too!
Though I am just a human — so are you!
We both possess a great amount of wit
And both use toilet paper when we take a shit
My eyes can see you, and your eyes see me
Our meeting, was it meant to be?

We’re sometimes working, both of us
Sometimes our cars break and we take a bus
Oh, you don’t have a car? Neither did I
Before I bought one, you should buy!
Or maybe I could sell, but either way
We’re growing samer every day
We’re like two drops of water, you and I:
I say hello, you say goodbye!

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Shut up

I cannot take your bullshit anymore
That’s not what free speech was invented for
To spread around faeces epidemic

Infecting innocents with diarrhea
Just move your crapper out of here
Before your dung becomes pandemic

Go see a doctor, I don’t care
You are in need of medication
To save this world from defecation
And clear your throat from endless poop

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