We have so much in common! Yes, I swear!
You wear clothes — and that’s exactly what I wear!
You’re speaking English, that’s my language too!
Though I am just a human — so are you!
We both possess a great amount of wit
And both use toilet paper when we take a shit
My eyes can see you, and your eyes see me
Our meeting, was it meant to be?
We’re sometimes working, both of us
Sometimes our cars break and we take a bus
Oh, you don’t have a car? Neither did I
Before I bought one, you should buy!
Or maybe I could sell, but either way
We’re growing samer every day
We’re like two drops of water, you and I:
I say hello, you say goodbye!
How can the weather be so shit?
What have we ever done to it?
Now that might really be the reason
We should arrest the sun for treason
Torture the clouds until they cry
Blow out the winds until they die
Shoot for the moon, kill its dark side…
Oh fuck it, I do not care, I’m sick and this poem can just go to hell.
I think it’s time we question ourselves
Why do we flush our toilets?
Why, the thought never crossed your mind?
The government doesn’t want us to think about it!
Rebel against the system!
Dethrone the sewerage!
Claim back the lavatory!
If we all stay together, with our wit
We’ll surely get to keep our shit!
I cannot take your bullshit anymore
That’s not what free speech was invented for
To spread around faeces epidemic
Infecting innocents with diarrhea
Just move your crapper out of here
Before your dung becomes pandemic
Go see a doctor, I don’t care
You are in need of medication
To save this world from defecation
And clear your throat from endless poop